Getting out of the Rut

Oscar Wilde once said something that, reading at the time I did, made little impression upon me.  Now, years later and graduating from life's school of hard knocks, it does occur to me that the man was right.  When someone gives you knowledge or information and you are not ready to receive it, or understand its significance, or use it, its of no consequence to you.  The same information, under different circumstances changes your life.

Yea yea, I have friends who read more motivational books than I who say there is nothing there, just like people who go to different religious prophets say the same thing.  Its actually crazy but true that religion and motivational speakers are talking about one and the same thing, the same thing that is repeated by my own mother while she tends her fields without knowing its worth in gold, only if she could actually believe what she is saying.  Call it faith or what you may but personally, I am not getting better and better each day,  as Emil suggests some place, BUT, my life becomes more and more interesting as it slides into shape.  I use the word slide here for a reason.  Some elaboration, if you would kindly permit me.

I am not sure which is better, to have and lose money and material comfort plus financial security, or not to have at all.  This is no paradox.  I am talking about a state of mind which exists for both situations.  In my case, the element of domestic abuse, while dorminant to some extent, only blocked the desire to own or possess anything ever again, because having was now equated to suffering.  It came as a rude shock to me, when I, for the first time in years, really went back in time to my life maybe a decade or so ago, and started building from there.  We were materially endowed, but I was miserable!  The person I saw in that life is nothing compared to the person I am right now.  While both lives had their merits, I think mental freedom and the ability to objectively assess one's own life and learn and improve and live and enjoy - plays such a fundamental role in living, which, day by day, I am finding, is necessary for happily overlooking little annoyances and general disagreements with everything and everyone.  In finding peace for myself, the happiness just comes of its own accord.  True, I am still battling doubt and fear, but there is progress. Ignorance, you people of this my fourthworld, is not bliss.  Oh the folly of this wasteland, this acceptance of doing without.  Its wrong.  You just have to fight for what you want, and get it.  The tragedy is that the fight has to happen in YOUR head.  Yes, that place where 'thinking' one of our worst habits, if we bother to even try it at all- takes place.  That is why we do not get out of the rut.

Blue Monday, not me.

I passed through the patch again today.  Just looking.  No more  pride of ownership or wish or will to associate.  Just some passive spectator not quite sure what to do about the patch.  The maize grows taller, and lovelier to look at.  The weeds, finally, seem to have been told to behave and yet, my heart is no longer in the patch.  Sort of like love gone bad. 

I cannot, in all sincerity, donate the patch to someone and bless them with my harvest, because that would be bad.  Neither can I take my troop to go down and harvest for consumption, knowing very well what I know. Yet, for all this hullabaloo, only weeks ago, I had submitted to poverty to the level where sharing food with roaches was agreeable.  I slept no better than a street dog, and watched my children do the same.  Such is what becomes of have beens in this our fourthworld.  When the downward trent begins, we offer apologies and pretend.  As it spirals out of control, we become verbose and argumentative.  Once we hit rock bottom, we are the know it alls, because we have been and no conversation is complete without us adding our expertise on how or why life should be lived our way, correctly or wrongly!  This whole week, I continue with this story, for it has to reach its logical conclusion and that conclusion is within sight.  Stay tuned. 

What to do now?

His defence was that this was a bush, and he had a right to relieve himself anywhere he chose to, even if that anywhere was my patch - the one I have so carefully tended and looked after for months now! Would I knowingly let my children take a cob of maize from this field, even if I chopped down the one that was urinated on?  What guarantee do I have that the rest of the plants have not suffered the same fate?  And worst of all, the culprit I caught red handed was not about to apologise, or even listen to my rantings!  I just rolled myself into a ball and sat squat in the middle of the patch and cried.    How beautiful and green the maize looks, how lush and strong and full of potential, all the beauty taken away by one thoughtless action on the part of someone who did not even bother to think how their actions would look and or feel, from another's perspective.  

All the toil and effort, the weeding and the tending, all the fertiliser, woman hours lost, just gone down the drain because my patch is soiled!  Some blundering idiot saw to it and why oh why, could they not pick any other field or patch, why, in all that vast expanse of untended fields, did he have to pick mine?

Such is the fate of vulnerability and lack of ownership.  People of this my fourthworld, the reason why I cried was because finally, the truth hit home.  There is a reason why other people work hard to own things, then put huge fences around what they own, employ guard dogs to assist in fending off idiots, then enjoy the fruit of their labour.

To Abby - with love and admiration!

There really is something to working at what you enjoy doing.  When you can concentrate totally, its amazing what can happen.  Work ambiance is fantastic, the people responsive and the mood exhilarating.  There is one lady who has been hidden in other people's shadows and yes, she can do wonderful work, but because eyes are cast on other people, you do not see this diamond right in the midst of the team.  To think of the trials and tribulations she went through last year, and her pain, part of which I actually am to blame for, and how she has not only come back still believing, but is proving to be worth her weight a thousand times in resourcefulness, the ability to go the extra mile and, wait for it, amazing output is worth sharing with all you people of the fourthworld!  

Again and again the lesson is being brought home, the greatest of all riches can only be evaluated in terms of harmonious relationships, sympathy and understanding, shared suffering, acknowledgement and respect for each other's capabilities.  The paradox is, the people I waste time chasing after are not worth half Abby's weight in her capacity to forgive, and picking up the pieces and doing what has to be done.  I feel humbled and honoured to associate with Abby, because she is teaching me the beauty of a free spirit and the joy of life. Now, even if I only get two hours sleep,  I wake up smiling, knowing that she will be there and no matter what happens, you can count on her to speak her mind, and make each day count. Thank you Abby, for being there and for coming back, and for helping pick up the pieces.  I will always remember and remain deeply indebted and honoured.  This is more so because of the mistrust I had started developing in everyone, including you.   Now I realised that we value the wrong people and abuse the deserving people because they remain overshadowed for the wrong reasons.

This whole epic journey I have undertaken over the last couple of years was meant to open my eyes and to understand people, relatives and friends.  Had my life not changed drastically the way it did, I would never had really known myself, my children, my mother or any of all my relatives and friends.  I think it is going to be boring to have money because then you will have to pretend to a lot of people so as not to hurt their feelings, ha ha ha!  I still had small pockets of doubt myself but this week has convinced me, finally, that all is really well.  We are only three feet away.  

Rhythm

If you are not using earphones, the music is low and the rhythm does not have the same impact!  Aerobics is about sound, the more you relate, the longer you slave at it, because you will actually not be thinking of it as something stressful, but something fun and enjoyable!   Its good for clearing the mind, working longer hours, sex endurance and drive.

I am listening to all this music from yours truly's collection - and there is a generational gap of stuff that I have never ever heard in my entire life!  If I think of how much some other people manage to do, and see, and endure, and live through, and amass, and explore, and exploit, I then see life as a sixty second episode where one cannot cram enough stuff into!

Do you know, you wonderful humans from this my fourthworld, that the reason why we learnt so much last year, (that is both me and my son!), was because we had a situation where we had to either do it all ourselves or close shop.  Each time I ask for help from someone and it is not forthcoming, that person is actually helping me because I am then forced to either teach myself, or ask my son to learn and this happened a lot last year. "Opportunity has a sly habit of slipping in by the back door and often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat. Perhaps, this is why so many people fail to recognize opportunity!"

There are beautiful chapters that must be closed happily in life. I am priviledged to be closing three such chapters today to enable balance and rhythm.  The show must go on.

Number Twenty Three

The fourthworld companions who saw me at the Casino - yes, I did a two year stint of gambling -  all used to swear by number twenty three!  My favourite number at the time used to be nineteen.  So, when the ball landed on number twenty three, everyone on the table was paid - except me.  Again when the ball hit number nineteen, of the very few who would be paid, I got the most money because on number nineteen, either I lost big or won big!

Life itself can be likened to a game of roulette.  Each number has an equal chance of being bet on, yet there are numbers which are frequented more than others, like number twenty nine, and number twenty, and number eight.  When you analyse further, you notice that these are what are called "middle" numbers, and when the Casino wants to attract patrons early in the evening, these numbers pay big time.  Now, later on, when the serious business starts of making sure that the Casino makes more money than the patrons, the spinners change and only those trained not to hit the middle numbers come in.  The ball changes speed and rhythm.  The eyes around the table become dilated.  Heartbeats can almost be heard and the spin of the wheel becomes fast and furious.  Play is non-stop, spin after spin, leaving you with no time to think.  The more the loss, the more argumentative you becomes and the surer also of getting it all back on the next spin, till you spread yourself too thinly until you lose it all.

My advise to people of this, my fourthworld is that only people who know what they are doing should be allowed to gamble.  I know that some people play for high stakes while holding bluffs and for a while, they look like they control the spin.  That roulette ball, viewed through a gambler's eyes, looks easy, but looks deceive.  A valuable lesson I learnt from gambling is that if I do not know the entire matrix, I tread carefully, very very carefully and sooner or later, I get it. That is how I was able to stop gambling.  I did it of my own free will because I knew that there was nothing there for me.    

This, is going to be a good week!

Lush and Green

That is how it looks.  Short, fat stalks and lushly green.  So, the fertiliser worked!  Now, I am looking at those short stalks and wondering, why dont they grow taller, faster!  Someone told me its the seed variety, another said its the soil, yet another person said its a combination of the soil, seed variety and rainfall pattern.  I look around and see different results.  To my north is taller but yellowing maize.  South, there is a weed-chocked piece yet somehow, the maize is growing, at least its taller than mine, but definitely not healthier.  West is, well better growth and better tended, lets see what happens when it ripens.  Such is the way of our own lives.  We just cannot all be the same!

Peoples of this, my wonderful wonderful fourthworld, I know that there are people who will look at you and lie straight faced, while you cry. I also know that there are others who will manipulate you and make you think they are your family or friend, yet behind your back, they are busy using all manner of daggers hoping to kill you.  Life is funny, the more people try to derail you, the easier the going actually gets.  I admit I am amusing myself by supplying everyone of these people with 100 percent correct information of what I am actually doing.  I supply that information, freely and voluntarily.  As a matter of fact, one of the four websites I am going to be working on shortly will detail everything I know about what I have learnt in this business, so that other people might go further and do better than what I will do.  (By then I will be busy counting the millions I have started working earnestly to make.  I can now see that day on the horizon, and boy do I love whats coming!)  Look, my gifted fellow humans, I believe in myself.  I am 1900 percent confident that I will make it and any competitor out there who is wondering how, the open secret is, I respect clients.  Do not lie to your clients, no matter how bad the situation.  Tell the truth and let people decide whether or not they will go with you.  If they dont, take note of their concerns, address them so that next time you approach them, they know you listen.  Does not mean that you will always get your way but even if you fail, you feel good about yourself, about the way you do business "no wealth or success can endure, unless built on truth and justice".  Wise words, very very wise words for someone like me, who is going to be both wealthy and successful.

About the maize, would it be wise to actually put a string .... you know, to measure from the ground because maybe the maize is growing and maybe its my eyesight thats not perceiving correctly?  What do you think?
  

Hide and Seek

Someone asked why I share my personal experiences and emotions on this blog.  Experience shared helps one deal with otherwise crippling and damaging life issues.

This week, I confirmed a suspicion that I expect the worst from situations.  In my mind, I am always expecting a disaster to happen even where there are no facts supporting my ascertion. For a week now, I have been writing all the negative expectations down, then I make a conscious effort to change my thoughts.  At the end of the day, I go back to where I wrote my negative expectations and like all the other entries for the week, none of my negative expectations happened.  Reading my entries, the minute I changed my thought pattern, events followed what I was thinking. Positive brought positive and the same for negative.

My fear of making money stemmed from a period in my life when I did have the money, but had a terrible life. In my subconscious mind, money equalled trouble.  How horribly wrong that thinking was and of course it affected everything! Domestic violence, while most unfortunate is just that, domestic violence.  It has nothing to do with money.  Somehow, I subconsciously always connected money to violence.  Ultimately the impulses I was sending out were all negative, and since I have an influencing personality, I influenced everyone around me to believe that it was alright to make do without money.  I used to talk about this discovery in passing, not knowing that I was stating a true fact which was vindicated by scientific study re - thought impulses.  So, in time, I affected all those around me.  My thinking became their thinking and incredibly, we went through a year - broke.  I have had to re-educate my mind that money is good.  It was not the reason for the trouble I went through, but a vindictive and insecure partner.  My first experience with domestic violence explains why I am insecure and hide behind telling other people of their own insecurity.  I let myself be used and abused (again) by a much older and totally irresponsible man and had an unhealthy outlook towards relationships.  I do not trust easily and I really thought and believed (wrongly) that it is better to be alone than to share your life with someone else.  I am happy I am one of the lucky few whose lives did not go to total waste because I have started to take corrective action, because I understand.

I hope that people from this, my fourthworld,  faced with a similar or worse situation can take note and do better than I have done.  Life is too short to make it a thirty second advertisement of hide and seek or make believe.   You live, you learn. You learn, you make the most of whats left of your life and you enjoy life. 

The journey of Life

Someone asked why I share my personal experiences and emotions online on this blog.  Experiences shared and talked about, help one deal with otherwise crippling and damaging life issues e.g. today I found out that I have become a person who expects the worst from situations so I wrote that realisation down and examined my thought pattern.  In my mind, I expected a disaster to happen.  There were no facts supporting my ascertion but because I expected it, that seemed to be the reality that should have ensured.  From that train of thoughts, the trend went further, expecting a series of negative events.  When I got to the office, I took pen and paper and wrote all the negative expectations down, like I have been doing for over a week now .  Then I made a conscious effort to change my thoughts.  At the end of the day, I went back to where I had written my negative expectations and like all the other entries for the week and none of my negative expectations happened.  In fact, from reading my entries this whole week, the minute I changed my thought pattern, events followed what I was thinking.  Positive brought positive and the same for negative.  

My fear of making money stemmed from a period in my life when I did have the money, but had a terrible life. In my subconscious mind, money equalled trouble and I managed to influence the thought pattern of those around me by making them accept that it was o.k. to do without money!  How horribly wrong that thinking was and of course it affected everything! Domestic violence, while most unfortunate is just that, domestic violence.  It has nothing to do with money. In my case, I subconsciously always connected money to violence so ultimately the impulses I was sending out were all negative, and since I have an influencing personality, I influenced everyone around me to believe that it was alright to make do without money.  I used to talk about this discovery in passing, not knowing that I was stating a true fact which was vindicated by scientific study done by those in the know re - thought impulses.  So, in time, I affected all those around me.  My thinking became their thinking and incredibly, we went through a year - broke.  I have had to re-educate my mind that money on its own, was not the reason for the trouble I went through, but a vindictive and insecure partner who messed up my life and my mind.  In fact, my first experience with domestic violence explains why I also became insecure and only felt safe with a much older but totally irresponsible man.  The fact that it has taken me this long to evaluate my life and that of my children, and to start only now to take corrective action, means talking about these experiences either here or elsewhere helps.  

I hope that from those who follow this blog (thank you guys!) anyone  faced with a similar or worse situation can take note and do better than I have done.  Life is too short to make it a thirty second advertisement of hide and seek or make believe.   

Franklin on my mind

His nine trees and one bush, the three symetrical buildings leading to the centre entrance of the independence hall, the windows, the arched entrances, the clock, bell tower, dome and spire, signature of the secretary of the treasury, signature of the treasurer of the United States of America, put Franklin firmly on my mind.

Of course in God we do trust the security thread, watermark and serial numbers. One Franklin equalls no less than two Grants, five Jacksons, ten Hamiltons, twenty Lincolns, fifty Jeffersons and one hundred Washingtons. Phew. Hello Franklin, you and me are going to be best buddies from now till death do us part!

My patch, its gone green, most of it.  I'll harvest something maybe less than the new field now about to be planted.  God's rule, you plant, you harvest.

A View - From Someone else's shoes

"I make an effort every single day to talk to you, but you do not hear.  I am who I am and what I am.  You either accept me for that, or you do not accept me at all.  Sensitivity is part of my make up.  Sure, I hurt easily, is that a crime?  When I try to talk to you, you do not acknowledge.  You only had to ask and I was there for you.  You banished me countless times and each time, I bore the punishment with fortitude. It was what you requested and I respected your wishes. I love with as much, if not the same passion as you do. That I choose not to talk like you does not make me and my life any lesser than yours, or give you rights to assume what you do not know.  You make me unsure of myself.  You ridicule me, make fun of me and my feelings, laugh at me.  You erode my confidence and sense of self worth yet despite all that, I continue to be there for you.  Your unpredictable moods and actions baffle me.  You hurt me time and time again but I never abandoned you.  It is not that I cannot talk, but I fear if I do, you will still not hear me, so instead, I have resolved to keep quiet.  I am afraid of your anger.  You label me what I am not so I behave that way because it is what you expect.  I have given up much for you, sacrificed for you, burnt bridges for you but you seem not to notice.  I try so very hard but you are determined not to let me be myself or to appreciate me, or to accept me the way I need to be appreciated and accepted.  Why?"

Sometimes, we are needed, understood and appreciated more than we know.  The tragedy of this our fourthworld is that we only often say what needs to be said when it is too late to matter.  

Kissing Your Frogs

"Fear paralyzes the faculty of reason, destroys the faculty of imagination, kills self-reliance, undermines enthusiasm, discourages initiative, leads to uncertainty of purpose, encourages procrastination, wipes out enthusiasm and makes self-control an impossibility. It takes the charm from one's personality, destroys the possibility of accurate thinking, diverts concentration of effort, it masters persistence, turns the will-power into nothingness, destroys ambition, beclouds the memory and invites failure in every conceivable form; it kills love and assassinates the finer emotions of the heart, discourages friendship and invites disaster in a hundred forms, leads to sleeplessness, misery and unhappiness - and all this despite the obvious truth that we live in a world of over-abundance of everything the heart could desire, with nothing standing between us and our desires, excepting lack of a definite purpose."

I took a leaf out of Mr. Obama's book of examples and invited back some people who, by all intents and purposes, and by all advice given to me genuinely, should not be in my team.  What maketh  a man and by what standard does one judge his value and worth towards accomplishing that which one sets out to do?   How many of people in this, my fourthworld, have failed because they let pride stand in the way of reason and ability?  I will not be such.

I thank everyone who overcome personal prejudice to do what had to be done.  Today, I kissed the first of many frogs (overcoming obstacles) in order to accomplish a goal, a wish and desire, of a group of people who believe in something.   Many of them suffered and believed along with me and were dissappointed, but more to the point, many still believe and want to continue, even when the going is still this tough.  Thank you Calvin -  for voicing reason.  Thank you Aunty Mady, for being my friend and believing in me. Thank you Owen, for listening to what I had to say.  Thank you to the wonderful, fantastic young men and women who have no right to believe in me, but have stood by for months ready to come and start the minute I gave the word.  It was so GOOD to see so many of you, and better to know that you are all ready.  You gave me my first million dollars because no amount of money can buy the loyalty you guys demonstrated.  I am greatly honoured, humbled and deeply indebted.  Its not going to be easy but we are going to cut out and share amongst us the portion of the pie we want.  The beautiful thing about knowing the road and where it goes is that there is no hurry, no rush, no panic, even in the face of whatever adversity chooses to place itself in our way.  We have options, always, there are options, that is why this time around, the ride will not only be smoother, but will bear milk, fruit and honey.  Bon Appetit.

Memories of my father

Luther Vandross sings about it.  The American President, Mr. Obama wrote a best-selling book about it.  So it goes to say, people, whether of the fourth or third or second or first world have memories of this relationship.  I have been priviledged to see both sides of this relationship, the sad and the happy.  I am among the lucky few who remember the man who sired them with love, respect and affection. My eldest son, like countless other young and old men, has not been so lucky.  He has this void of rembrance of the exact time the fathers exited his life, the unfulfilled promises, the marginalisation when the father took on a new spouse and this seething anger and lack of understanding on why his world was turned upside down.

Someone sent me the following via Google and for those whose fathers are still alive, I want to share this.

Love. It’s right up there with air, food and water as the most necessary of ingredients for existence. And yet, for many people, it’s the hardest thing to find and perhaps even harder to hold on to. The truth is you’re not perfect, and neither is your parent. But you can be perfectly imperfect together.

Finding Love in Imperfect Relationships is firmly rooted in the belief that how you choose to see things informs the way they appear for you. What if, instead of focusing on trying to change your parent, you had the ability to actually change the way you look at them? Suddenly, the focus of everything in your relationship would shift.

This concept is based on the ancient Japanese art form known as Wabi Sabi that honors all things worn, weathered, imperfect and impermanent. It is the imperfections that make something beautiful and unique. By applying this concept to love relationships, Wabi Sabi Love allows you to go from “annoyed to enjoyed” with simple, fun, and effective ways to embrace this life-changing shift in perception. 

My father passed on 5 years ago but I still have so many fond memories of him, so many so that when I have problems even now, I remember a lot of what he used to say to me and I draw a lot of inspiration and comfort from that.  For everyone whose father is still alive, its a choice you make to make things work, or close the chapter totally and move on with your life.  Dont waste yourself judging or assessing.  Dont have any expectations great or small and dont blame yourself or mess up your life wishing for what could have been. You may not have chosen your parents, but you can decide what happens with your life.

This post is dedicated to my father, and all the wonderful fathers in the world.

To Do or Not To?

I am writing this post for women who have had people tell them to their faces that they are ugly, or that they are dull, or that they somehow lack something on them that makes them second hand human beings and should only be considered as second wives or other girlfriend!   Sisters, find a man who is secure in himself, mature enough to know what he wants, sensible enough to value you as a human being and whom you give your all to, without reserve.   Romance is alive and kicking, so is love and all the good that comes with it.  

Charles wrote to me on the 10th of January.  I look at that letter every day but do not know what to say.  Its good to give advice but can you take your own advice and apply it to yourself?  Can I?  This is my official position on love this year, 2012.  I am not qualified to give advice on this subject because I am not doing any better in my own personal life.  Right.  What?  This is typical fourthworld!  A tailor's child wears the most patches.  A medical doctor's child prefers consulting a witchdoctor or 'prophet' and money .... there are so many versions of how to make it!   

Huggy, cuddly feeling!

Its good to have sisters.  I made a promise to Bobbie, (aka Margaret my sister) to see her today and tight as the schedule of promises was, it gave me great and untold joy and delight to fulfil the promise.  If you have wonderful people in your life, like this woman who doubles up as my mother and sister sometimes, you tend to take them for granted and not say the simple words, I love you often enough.  With Bobbie, we do a lot of hugging, so much so that she is the only human being who communicates with me through hugs only and I totally and absolutely understand.  Of course, we do hug a lot, me and my entire team of boys but with Bobbie its warm and cuddly and feel good thank goodness I have you type of feeling, ummmmmmmmmmm.

I am not running away from talking about my growing patch.  It had these yellow streaks at the bottom of some plants (lack of fertiliser, I'm told) so I bent and applied some and each moment I have to spare, I go and watch like a hawk to see if the yellow is turning to green (its happening, albeit too slowly for me!).  Now Bobbie has a bigger and healthier patch, in fact, she has a couple of them beautifully tended and one such patch is actually near ripening to harvesting stage - pheeeew!

After talking to Bobbie and spending time with her, I thought why not talk to my other sister in America and there went two hours of  bliss!  Irene is the eldest girl in our family and with her, its sister talk and motherly advice.  Its times like this when I count my blessings - and so should any of you people in the fourthworld. We, in our backwardness still realise the importance of talking to our loved ones. 

Friday the Thirteenth

This is the third time I have had to go back to the drawing board because I do not like what I came up with for the community pages.  I have the correct idea and what I want it to translate to but after looking at my work, I sighed and deleted most of the work.  Start again!!  Below is whats missing  because I cannot make up my mind as to what the central theme should be for the community pages!  And according to Napoleon Hill (Calvin has FINALLY read the preface of Napoleon Hill's book, I will keep putting it where he cannot ignore it!), what is lacking is:-

1.    A DEFINITE PURPOSE BACKED BY BURNING DESIRE FOR ITS FULFILLMENT.

2.     A DEFINITE PLAN, EXPRESSED IN CONTINUOUS ACTION. 

3.  A MIND CLOSED TIGHTLY AGAINST ALL NEGATIVE AND DISCOURAGING INFLUENCES, including negative suggestions of relatives, friends and acquaintances. 

4.     A FRIENDLY ALLIANCE WITH ONE OR MORE PERSONS WHO WILL ENCOURAGE ONE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH BOTH PLAN AND PURPOSE. 

A Cup of Tea

People in this, my fourthworld, go through life drinking other people's cups of tea.  The point I am trying to make here is this.  Every one of us is a unique creation.  Make your space, enjoy your life, learn from your mistakes and move on.  Live. 

Mr. Napoleon Hill's book was written in 1937.   I have enjoyed reading this book and benefited much from it. It may not be everyone's cup of tea but for me, it was.  Let me tell you why. 

1.  The book helped me rekindle faith in myself.

2.  Factual writing motivates me because the people's experiences mentioned are real.

3.  I am a firm believer of self made millionaires (I will become either a millionaire or billionaire the minute I stop talking and start doing), so the Edisons, Fords etcetera were good company.

4.  When certain issues come to the forefront, e.g. witchcraft, self doubt, bad business decisions, failure, loss , debts, its very easy to believe everyone and anyone.  You loose yourself, you loose people, you loose what you believe in and if you are not careful, you loose hope, and your dreams.

5.  The environment sucks you in and before you know it, you allow yourself to take a place on the quitters bench and you become a very vocal, know it all, has been and cant be done specialist.

6.  This is a very comfortable and welcoming bench, because, in this my fourthworld, it always has room for more.  I went and sat on that bench.  In fact, I took meals with other occupants of this part of my world, whose permanent lot is failure and poverty.

7.  I listened to them, saw what they have allowed their lives to become and for a whole while, I became  convinced that was my lot.

8.  Yet something in me rebelled, it refused, it shouted out and persistently told me that I was made for a better, bountiful and fruitful life.

9. I have been standing in an ocean of water, yet thirsted for a drop of drink.  For a year, I have been searching relentlesly for the cup to use to take water from this ocean.  In place of the cup, along came Mr. Napoleon Hill.

10.  His book presented me with, not just a cup to drink from, but ways and means to dam and own the ocean, so that I can drink and provide drink to others.

11.  I have a plan, I have direction and I know how I am going to make my money. 

12.  No amount of competition, sabotage, betrayal, witchcraft, theft or negatives thrown my way can derail me now because no one can steal my desire, or my motive, or my willpower, or my persistence, or my confidence, or my experience, or my focus, or my self belief, or the absolute conviction that I will make it. 

13.  That is the capital no money can buy, because, no matter how many times I fall, I WILL get up and do what I have to do, till success has no option but to hand over what is mine.  

14.  So, people of my fourthworld, we all have this, you, your friend, neighbour, sister, cousin - the stuff that the Bill Gates and Zuckerbergs are made of.  Its time to throw caution to the wind and believe in YOURSELF.  Go for whatever you dream of because you only have one life.  Does it not make sense to make the most of it for you and your loved ones?      

Mr. Napoleon Hill on Love

If you believe yourself unfortunate, because you have "loved and lost," perish the thought. One who has loved truly, can never lose entirely. Love is whimsical and temperamental. Its nature is ephemeral, and transitory. It comes when it pleases, and goes away without warning. Accept and enjoy it while it remains, but spend no time worrying about its departure. Worry will never bring it back.

Dismiss, also, the thought that love never comes but once. Love may come and go, times without number, but there are no two love experiences which affect one in just the same way. There may be, and there usually is, one love experience which leaves a deeper imprint on the heart than all the others, but all love experiences are beneficial, except to the person who becomes resentful and cynical when love makes its departure.

There should be no disappointment over love, and there would be none if people understood the difference between the emotions of love and sex. The major difference is that love is spiritual, while sex is biological. No experience, which touches the human heart with a spiritual force, can possibly be harmful, except through ignorance, or jealousy.

The Ten Mind Stimulii - courtesy Napoleon Hill

The stimuli to which the mind responds most freely are:--

1.                   The desire for sex expression

2.                   Love

3.                   A burning desire for fame, power, or financial gain, MONEY

4.                   Music 

5.                   Friendship between either those of the same sex, or those of the opposite sex.

6.                   A Master Mind alliance based upon the harmony of two or more people who ally themselves for spiritual or temporal advancement.

7.                   Mutual suffering, such as that experienced by people who are persecuted.

8.                   Auto-suggestion

9.                   Fear 

10.               Narcotics and alcohol.

My turn to listen

Reading through Mr. Napoleon Hill's book has made me a better, changed person.  For me, it was the right book at the right time.  Full stop.  A surprising thing I notice is that I have this negative aspect to  my personality which I was not aware of, but which mirrors itself in a lot of people I have met over the years.  It is what makes me remark to them that they have negative personalities or are unhappy people, because the same aspects in me would be drawn by the same in them. Wow.

I am trying very hard to listen, because, basically, I talk too much.  This weekend, I stopped.  Yes stopped. See, when you stay with an elderly parent, they seem like they nag.  Truth is, it is you who would have lost patience.  So, here I was at  snapping point, listening to my mother when suddenly, I told myself to stop and did just that.  What followed thereafter were words from my mouth, reminding both me and my mother how she had to be patient with me when I was a teeny toddler and why it was now my turn to listen. My mother was so surprised and moved by the words that she cried.  

This post is dedicated to Mary  - a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, special woman who mothered me.  There is something about loving one's parent when they are still alive, and about giving them your time, not just on Mother's day.  If I can, I will try my best to make every day a happy mother's day for my mother.  Better do the same all you people of this, my beautiful fourthworld. 

OOOOOPS

I received an angry call from one of my friends re - yesterday's post.  She thinks my post was cynical and irresponsible.  In fact, she went as far as to say that I came through as a heartless human being.  I don't know, the thing is, a closed up mindset can make one fail to see the bigger picture.  The point about the dummy was pertinent, but maybe the way the point was made is debatable.  In retrospect, such is the way when we do things, or assume things, and are 100% sure of what we are doing, only to find out at some later stage that we were 100% wrong.  

Sometimes, things go wrong by themselves, no one to blame really, not even that spoilt child, but because you are used to seeing them behave a certain way, you think you know what they will do.  Then, someone looking at the post from an entirely different set of eyes makes you see the blinkers you have on and, yes, you see why they are saying what they are saying.

Life is too short to be miserable and to be nasty.  There is so much good stuff happening and so many good people left in this, our fourthworld that I humbly apologise to my good friend for offending, and to thank her for reading this blog.

Have to go, its fertiliser time for my small patch.  Rain does not wait for anyone, farmer or pretending farmer. It works like clockwork, you miss, you loose.  I am teaching myself a very valuable life lesson here.  The value of time and how it surely waits for no man, or woman.  To every farmer in the world's success, and to those who wish to be farmers too, oh and those caught up in farming small patches too!

Sucking on the Dummy

In this our fourthworld, when a child cries, either its wet, or has tummy or other trouble. The onus is on the parent to listen to that child, because children rarely cry for no reason. If the wailing persists, and after carefully evaluating that nothing is really wrong with the child, a parent can safely place a dummy in the child's mouth and let the child suck on the dummy to quieten down, till the child sleeps. Dummies can take the form of a treat, or a promise to do as the child demands. Once the child receives that dummy, treat or promise, the wailing stops. The parent is happy that the child has stopped fretting, and the child feels empowered that the parent has backed down to its wailing. Of course the parent knows that a dummy, treat or promise is really a sugar coated 'lie' but the child greedily accepts whatever is offered because they feel they control the parent and they can get the parent to do whatever they want.

Next time you are faced with such a situation, look at it carefully. Children ask for what they think they want, and sometimes risk leg and limb to make a point, which leg and limb someone else has to pay for to fix. When you give these children what they wail for, they do not appreciate what they get, because they do not know if it is what they truly wanted in the first place.  Chances are, they wail in frustration because they cannot get something they thought they could easily get, or a toy they voluntarily cast away because they do not have the capacity to be satisfied with what they have.  So now, they go all out to demand what they think they want, and the senseless time-wasting and physically draining debacle ensues, if you, the parent take such a child seriously. Rather than go to war with such a child, first and foremost, it is important to remember that this is a child you are dealing with and most of the time, children are afraid.  Therefore, play along, and make the child feel they have your attention.  Then, to really get them to stop the tantrums,  play the idiot and feed their ego so that they have something to boast about. Children are predictable and, they do the same thing again and again so you really have to be patient.  The beautiful thing about children is that they soon forget and go after new toys, so patience pays.  Just remember, these children did not make themselves into who they are - greed for all toys and trinkets did.

Words of wisdom from Napoleon Hill

"It is a well known fact that one comes, finally, to BELIEVE whatever one repeats to one's self, whether the statement be true or false. If a man repeats a lie over and over, he will eventually accept the lie as truth. Moreover, he will BELIEVE it to be the truth. Every man is what he is, because of the DOMINATING THOUGHTS which he permits to occupy his mind. Thoughts which a man deliberately places in his own mind, and encourages with sympathy, and with which he mixes any one or more of the emotions, constitute the motivating forces, which direct and control his every movement, act, and deed!

A thought "magnetized" with emotion may be compared to a seed which, when planted in fertile soil, germinates, grows, and multiplies itself over and over again, until that which was originally one small seed, becomes countless millions of seeds of the SAME BRAND!"  

Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.  We are what we are, because of the vibrations of thought which we pick up and register, through the stimuli of our daily environment.  Resolve to throw off the influences of any unfortunate environment, and to build your own life to ORDER. Taking inventory of mental assets and liabilities, you will discover that your greatest weakness is lack of self-confidence. This handicap can be surmounted, and timidity translated into courage.  The application of this principle may be made through a simple arrangement of positive thought impulses stated in writing, memorized, and repeated, until they become a part of the working equipment of the subconscious faculty of your mind."

So, people of this, my fourthworld, imagine what thoughts of fear, poverty, disease, failure, misery; or of prosperity, health, success, and happiness, reproduce.    

Reading Mr. Napoleon Hill's book, the original 1937 version changed my mindset, and helped me through what had the potential of becoming the worst time of my life, ever. Sometimes, when, like Mr. Oscar Wilde once stated "reasoning fails you", turn to the huge ocean of untamed advice freely available from thousands of download book sites on the internet, .... or the bible.   

Again, Napoleon

"One of the main weaknesses of mankind is the average man's familiarity with the word "impossible." He knows all the rules which will NOT work. He knows all the things which CANNOT be done.

A great many years ago I purchased a fine dictionary. The first thing I did with it was to turn to the word "impossible," and neatly clip it out of the book. That would not be an unwise thing for everyone to do."

Beautiful words. Timely.  

I would gladly pay a billion dollars for the mindset which invaded my brain for the past three weeks.  It came quietly, bringing with it an extra pair of life's shock absorbers.  When you are at peace with yourself, everything can be viewed from a fair perspective, the other party's and yours.  That is why you understand the pain, confusion and heartache of one who sets out to destroy you.  The Zain principles of life make sense when one experiences certain things first.

Life in this, our fourthworld, has its own unique beauty and simplicity.  Paradoxically, I read an article the day before yesterday in the New Yorker titled "The joy of quiet" and it was a beautifully thought out piece. Sometimes, things are just what they are, no more, no less.

Napoleon, which Napoleon?

The year is 1936 and there is this trouble.  No, actually, step back twenty four years and you see where this starts.  Ford, Wanamaker, Eastman, Wright, Schwab, Rockefeller, Edison, Vanderlip, Woolworth,  Graham Bell, and a handfull of other noteworthy kingmakers of the first world talk to Napoleon. They are dreamers and they talk quarter of a billion dollar dreams in a time when five hundred dollars per year is considered a fortune. Most of these men start from scratch, fail often, persist, get betrayed, scorned, arrested, and listen to all manner or nay sayers.  They get setbacks, major and minor yet they persist talking about their dreams till history records the realisation of each of those dreams.

Quotation from Napoleon:

Life is strange, and often imponderable! Both ... success and failure have their roots in simple experiences.... common-place and simple enough, yet they hold the answer to our destiny in life, therefore they are as important as life itself. You profit by dramatic experiences because you analyze them, and find the lesson they teach. But what of the man who has neither the time, nor the inclination to study failure in search of knowledge that may lead to success? Where, and how is he to learn the art of converting defeat into stepping stones to opportunity?

     

Tweet with Rebecca Black (the most searched for person on Google in 2011!)

After reading Google's 2011 most searched for lists, I tweeted the most searched for person on Google in 2011 - Rebecca Black.   She tweeted right back.  (Thanks Rebecca  - and now we follow each other on Twitter - zimcompanies account!).

Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack) replied to one of your Tweets!

Show Details
Message body

Rebecca Black @MsRebeccaBlack replied to you:
MsRebeccaBlack Rebecca Black
@zimcompanies not really, actually.(: life's too short to worry about things like that!
Dec 27, 9:57 PM via Twitter for iPhone


In reply to…
zimcompanies Agnes Musa
@MsRebeccaBlack how did you manage dealing with 3 million dislikes, must have been very upsetting!
Dec 27, 9:35 PM via web

The Amazing Mr. Seth Godin - speaks!

.......Because it's always possible to find a reason to stay put, to skip an opportunity, or to decline an offer. And yet, in retrospect, it's hard to remember why we said no and easy to wish that we had said yes.

The thing is, we still live in a world that's filled with opportunity. In fact, we have more than an opportunity -- we have an obligation. An obligation to spend our time doing great things. To find ideas that matter and to share them. To push ourselves and the people around us to demonstrate gratitude, insight, and inspiration. To take risks and to make the world better by being amazing.

Click here to read the rest of this article

Heroes - Bonus Post

These guys are like everyone in the fourthworld.  We just need to find our special powers, because we all have some!  Welcome 2012 and may you live to enjoy your life every day.

11 Painful Life and Business Lessons from 2011

by Yee Shun-Jian on December 31st, 2011

Lesson 1: When you’ve achieved a certain level of success, you tend to get complacent. And that complacency is what’s going to lead to your downfall.
Lesson 2: Never rely on just one major (income or traffic) source/person
Lesson 3: Stay away from toxic people. Surround yourself with positive people that lift you up.
Lesson 4: Debt may not necessarily be bad
Lesson 5: Your (life and financial) decisions don’t only affect yourself. It affects others
Lesson 6: Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish
Lesson 7: Don’t be afraid to go after your dreams, in spite of ridicule, criticism, possible humiliation and/or fear
Lesson 8: Thank God for Insurance
Lesson 9: My wealth is not measured by how much I have in my bank account but how much I’ve invested in my financial mindset
Lesson 10: Be willing to invest in education/coaching no matter what level you’re at
Lesson 11: Be grateful every day

Courtesy http://richgrad.com/11-painful-life-and-business-lessons-from-2011/