Chapter One
Natalie looks at my face expectantly. I am not in a good mood. You get to be like that when you play hostess to self- invited guests. KMP? I am trying hard to put the initials to a face. Knowing Natalie, it’s a man. Observing Natalie’s face, I put on an expression that encourages a person to go on saying or believing what they want to, without your conceding absolute ignorance of the subject being discussed. Some people talk to you with the intention of getting their mind off their troubles. People whose spouses left become good observers and listeners. My friends say so.
Natalie: “KMP knew about fruit. He took time selecting what to harvest.”
Lisa: “How come you made the grade?”
Natalie: “What is it with you today Lisa? David is old news. Best thing for you to do is get a move on with your life.”
Lisa: “For a minute there I thought it was mother speaking.”
Natalie: “You need mothering.”
Lisa: “The position is currently filled even though the incumbent is grossly inefficient.”
Natalie: “Its mean to talk like that about mother.”
Lisa: “I’m surprised you defend her. You do not give a hoot about the woman.”
Natalie: “My war with mother has nothing to do with you.”
Lisa: “Then I strongly suggest we drop the subject.”
Natalie: “Agreed. (After a few moments of silence) You are right about the grade Lisa. There are genuinely good people in this world. KMP happens to be one.”
Lisa: “Then tell me about him.”
Natalie: “KMP knows the art of savouring. Says it is foolish to pluck fruit if one does not have time to enjoy. Strawberries are his favourite. For him, strawberries can be eaten with varying accompaniments. His only flaw, he is a connoisseur without a heart.”
KMP? KMP? The initials do not ring the slightest tinkle of the recognition bell they are supposed to.
So Natalie and I spent a lot of time together, the first in years. We spent hours by the fireside. Night sounds, the cold beautiful moon. Birds, crickets, an occasional dog bark, far off sounds of passing cars, silhouettes. Fascinating shadows. Silence. It is possible to abandon life’s cares for a whole while.
Reminds me of my New Year resolutions; to own a couple of hammocks, make time to read, be a better person, caring parent, good woman and worthwhile friend.
One has to start the year on a positive note especially if the ground under one’s feet has been literally swept off by none other than David. To think how differently, honorably and gallantly he did it the first time!
We had a whirlwind romance, David and I. Did the rounds of theaters, matinees, festivals, cultural galas, the lot. Marriage - a son; father’s carbon copy. The more materially endowed we became, the busier our lives became. We drifted. You do not notice such things as they happen. I mean, honestly, if you are busy living your life, how can you have time to evaluate it? We looked happy enough.
David had approached intimacy terms with the ultimate symbol of success. You do know that it is money, don’t you? Our lifestyle was testimony to this. Twelve years together. I never knew how much money David had, where it was or exactly how he made it. So I chose to work and it was a bleeding point with David. True, he provided everything but there is this thing about wanting to hold cash and spend without sanction. I could not make David understand the feeling. Nonetheless, he accepted it. The lukewarm bedroom scenario was no different from the norm and my mood swings were usual. Still, David left.
Brings to mind courtship time conversations we had, David and I. Please understand that I’m not thinking about David. I simply remember conversations, verbatim. It happens. You remember words spoken fourteen years ago, what David wore, the expression on his face, the tilt of his head.
Lisa: “What would you do if you knew you no longer loved me?”
David: “That day will never come. I want you to know that, always.”
And another.
Lisa: “What is it that you want in a woman David?”
David: “A person who takes time to care, value, appreciate, understand, love and partner me through life.”
CHAPTER TWO
You start dating again. It is the day you meet Markus the rebound. Markus assesses and awards himself points for good hunting. You see him evaluating, calculating. Lots of Markuses chase you if it becomes public knowledge that David left you a sprawling simplex in a choice neighborhood.
Hope says if you have to evaluate, do not nauseate. Markus did so, no thank you and goodbye. I best see what other fish there are in oceans, seas, lakes, dams, rivers, fish tanks and fish and chip shops.
I hope you have not forgotten my name. It’s Lisa. We have been together for a while now. I suppose I should describe myself to you. I mean, if we meet and you fail to recognize me after I have enjoyed your company so thoroughly, that would be a disaster. We really could meet. Stranger things have been known to happen.
My appearance. Yes. I am what people with limited vocabulary term nondescript. It is after all, other people’s perceptions that describe us to the world.
When David was away making bread I spent time with Oscar, the Wilde man. After him came Mr. Wallace and Mr. Durrel. Then Madame Kaye escorted me to her far pavilions. On the way back, I encountered the enthralling purity of Samborera, had an evening with Mr. Bocelli, spent hours with Cassiya, Mr. Barry White and Mr. Springsteen.
David did not allow reading or listening to music in bed. The bedroom was for sleep. Everything in its place and a place for everything, dinner at seven sharp, if he made it. With the number of times he did not, one had to be innovative, have a friend to call. I ate a lot of dinners with Hope.
I better tell you about my friends. Hope is a collector. She likes classy clothes, classy furniture, and classy homes. Addresses are very important to her, so are classy children and classy phalluses. Hope has sex, on average, once in every quarter – I am not sure quarter of what. With Hope you even have to watch what you say. The words too have to be classy.
Ruth says she does not believe in achieving, conceiving, giving or deceiving. Trish is Trish.
Of these ladies, one dresses better than magazine models. I know because Hope said so. The other has hair, skin and nails worth looking at for hours. Skin you simply wish to look at and not have because it costs a packet to keep. The third lady is truly beautiful. There, I have described my friends to you. You want to know the people you are getting to mix and mingle with, one big happy family - minus David. He left, even when he knew my friends were going to talk; friends who were there before him, with him through the marriage and still around after he left. David. David.
You have met, my friends, well not all of them exactly. You see there was a man friend too. Gerald. He used to join us for tea right at the beginning. Things were fine, even after he got a Merc and a Prado. When we saw the private plane and boat, we decided he was spoiling things for the rest of the group. We did have homes to go to after tea and men to share news with. As things stood, there really was no option. Tom pointed this out, through Ruth. Tom is Trish’s husband. Trish was livid, not about Ruth and Tom, but about the unfairness of the affair with Gerald. With Hope and Ruth to convince her, Trish eventually saw reason. I was my usual self and Gerald was dropped from the group.
It is dripping again. Natalie is gone and my mother is visiting. People do that when a husband leaves, come and go, visiting frequently and unexpectedly and going just as frequently and unexpectedly. Not that I mind or question people who have not graced our doorstep for years suddenly pitching up. I have no reason to begrudge my mother a visit.
It is her fake hugs and usual topics of conversation over the years that strain. Another thing. I have not seen my mother smile or laugh in years. She concocts her face into a semblance of what she believes will pass - for a smile. I wonder if she practices in front of a mirror. Conversation with mother:-
Mother: “Come sit with me for a minute Lisa.”
I take a chair and sit slightly away and to her left.
Mother: “When I come here, it is to spend time with you, not your house, furniture or domestic help.”
Lisa: “Yes mother.”
Mother: “Move closer. We have to shout to hear each other because of the size of this room.”
Mother starts off with talk of other people’s children.
Mother: “You know the Kerridows? Their youngest’ wedding was last weekend.”
Lisa: “Oh really, how was the wedding?”
Mother: “As to be expected from such people. The girl is nothing to look at. Still, I suppose it’s a good match. If you had not stubbornly insisted on marrying David and listened to me, the boy would have married you. Instead I get to see you make a mess of your life with this, this David. Where is he now?”
Lisa: “I don’t know where David is right now mother but I remember you approving of him!”
Mother: “How dare you defend him after he abandoned you and the boy? The shame for your mother and family! David walked out, walked out after you made him all that money!”
Point of correction, David walked out but he made his own money. Can’t say so to mother though. Best move on - to hear what other people’s children are doing for their mothers.
Mother: “Mrs. Kerridows told me her boy bought brand new stuff for their kitchen.”
My brothers and sisters who have not been paying homage in maternal or materialistic terms.
Mother: “Some children shop for their parents, what do mine do, my very own children drop off people in my very own neighborhood, but do they come and say hello to their own parents - no?”
My brother dropped off a very old lady in the neighborhood, went to collect his family to come visit our parents on the same day but his car had been spotted and … We move on to the main item on the agenda, my father.
Mother: “It is because of your father. (His health problems) He is crazy. (His miserliness). The man is mean and insensitive. Forty-five years I have lived with your father, forty-five years. (His lack of gratitude for all the children) What do I have to show for it? You tell me Lisa? Does he ever once say thank you. No, not once, not ever.”
and related stories.
Mother: “All your father thinks about is himself, his drink, his friends. They laugh so much people think he is certifiable. I have a hard time telling your father to behave like a normal human being. Were it not for the lot of you, your husbands and your brothers’ wives …”
Depending on which side of her two marriages you fall, she ends up with the physical and material comforts she sacrificed on your behalf. If your luck is out you get to hear the sacrifices she made on account of the entire family.
Mother: “You are grown and it makes sense that you cannot make time to see an old woman whose only tie is giving birth to you. You have friends you take to tea at fancy restaurants, something an old woman like me would not enjoy. I’m grateful you do remember me twice a year, Christmas and my birthday ….”
The weather and company are a perfect match. As there is a risk that I may end up being rude and inhospitable to my parent, which is graceless in a person and doubly so in one’s child, a diversion, man’s best friend will do for this woman. Better enjoy a drench. Heaven knows. The dog needs a walk and I need cleansing, especially after Graham.
