What will be....

will be.  I have just gone through a period of testing a lot of beliefs, mine and other people's and its enlightening.  I had been going around telling people that I was feeling "drained" and exhausted and in fact, I had started telling people that they were draining me, only to realise that there was a perfectly logical and factual explanation for what was happening to me.

1.  Diet - If you skimp on meals and eat the wrong type of food, you do tend to feel drained because low energy food does not do much for work which demands much of your brain and or concentration - that is a fact.

2.  Sleep - You do need to make sure that you get sufficient sleep.

3.  Exercise - For people my age, especially women in my world, there is a tendency to skip this.  I was pleasantly surprised when I took up a few minutes of aerobics that not only did my concentration actually increase, so did my awareness of my general surroundings and the people around me.  I am feeling healthier and have this positive attitude in life when everything that could or can go wrong has done so.  Instead of going through a depressing and negative period, I am happy, focused and productive.

4.  Beliefs -  Most of the beliefs I have gleaned from other people and have put to the test ... I found they do not work.  I think the self-limiting beliefs thing - its true up to a point.  I say so because I just met the woman who contributed to the acrimonious divorce I had a decade ago face to face for the first time today and guess who introduced me?  My son.  She was more uncomfortable than I was and I laughed because she told me all these years she had dreaded meeting me only to find I hold no grudges and I actually wish her well, even after all the trouble and pain she caused me and my son.

5. Money - When the first aeroplane was invented, there were people who said it would not fly.  When Bill Gates was working on Microsoft and had problems, Dell told him his company was not worth US$20 million and he offered him US$5 million  instead, only to see Bill Gates become the richest man in the world.  The point here is when you are at your lowest ebb, believe in what you are doing and hang in there and hold on no matter what people say.  You will make it.

6.  Happiness - Is still free and abundant in this world.  Even when you are in a period of embracing death and dealing with it, you can still smile and find lots to thank God for.

7.  Friends - True ones, continue to constantly surprise you.

8.  Work-mates - You spend so much of your life with other people who become family.  I had the priviledge of working with a lot of different and uniquely gifted people this past year, whose hopes were dashed but who I hope have moved on to make something worthwhile of their lives and to the whole group, I am eternally grateful for your work and your contribution.

9.  Family - Such fragile bonds.  I am at a period where I have had to re-evaluate all the family relationships one by one and its a painful but necessary process one may have to do if one really wants to mature.  You celebrate some relationships, regret some, want to terminate others but .... family is family.  Ask the Godfather.

10.  Work - One of the greatest delights of my life.  Unlike most people, I thank God for what I do.  It keeps me sane.  It wakes me up in the morning and keeps me up late at night and I am totally and absolutely passionate about what I do.

11.  Religion - I was talking with a colleague at work and explaing to them that I do not want to seek God because I have problems, but rather have a relationship with God which is not based on my wants, needs, fear of family, fear of failure or fear of being singled out as a non-believer.  My world has suffered because of what some of these religious extremists believe, without facts.  Some now say it is a crime to have an open mind.  Others pray to prophets and not God and yet others still have these double lives its pathetic.  I could go on about why people in my world go to church but that will have to be for another day.

So, all I have to do is concentrate for the next couple of months, endure only two people's delightful company daily and what will be, will be. People, I just love life and I thank God every day for mine and for everyone else's.